


Are Unicorns partial to Dildos?

by naboru



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Comedy, Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-10
Updated: 2011-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-21 05:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naboru/pseuds/naboru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud and Reno find themselves in quite a bad situation and aim for distraction...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are Unicorns partial to Dildos?

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Haben Einhörner eine Vorliebe für Dildos?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/221610) by [naboru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/naboru/pseuds/naboru). 



**Title:** Are Unicorns partial to Dildos?  
 **Characters:** Reno, Cloud  
 **Challenge:** Truth or Dare (launched 12.08.2007 at 120_minuten)  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Disclaimer:** I own none of the Final Fantasy-characters and I don’t make money with this story.  
 **Summary:** Cloud and Reno find themselves in quite a bad situation and aim for distraction…

 **Note:** Wow… first time I post some of my writings in English… and I’m a bit nervous. ^^°  
Thanks to chaotizitaet for the translation. *hugs* ^^

 

 **Are Unicorns partial to Dildos?**

“Okay… so… ahem… Yeah…”  
Cloud sighed annoyed. “Now stop to hem and haw and ask your question.”  
“Okay, okay, all right…” Insecure Reno bit his lip and finally stated after a moment: “Back then… well… you know, back then… did you like Aerith? Well, I mean, did you really… care for her?”  
Puzzled, Cloud raised his eyebrows. “Do you really want to know?”  
“Well, yeah, or else I wouldn’t be asking.”  
The blonde languidly ran his hand over his eyes and took a deep breath. His lungs were burning and his throat ached when he spoke, but he tried to dissemble it.  
“I dare say, yes. I liked Aerith.”  
Reno nodded silently. His gaze lingered on Cloud who leaned slumped down on the opposite wall. One hand still massaged his eyes while the other was pressed against his left hip; it was smeared red with blood.  
“Did you care for her more than… for me now?”  
“… you already asked your question…”  
“Yeah, yeah… all right… your turn…”  
“Truth or Dare?”  
Reno pondered the options. “Truth.”  
“I thought as much… Well: Why are we playing this stupid game?”  
Reno grinned. “Because we don’t have a bottle.”  
“I don’t get it.”  
“If we had a bottle we could play spin-the-bottle…”  
“I see… But still I don’t get the point why we should do that.”  
“Distraction…”  
“Ah…” Cloud nodded. “Do you think it works?”  
“At the moment: No. Since you are always asking the wrong questions.”  
“And what, to your mind, should I ask?”  
“Something not related to our current situation…”  
“Honestly, Reno, that’s very difficult.” The blonde continued pressing his hand at his side. There already was a small puddle of blood on the floor and Cloud’s face was unhealthily pale – something combined with the blood at the corner of his mouth only worsened the sight.  
Reno gulped.  
“My turn again… Truth or…”  
“Dare…”  
“Would you kindly let me finish my sentence? Well, then: Dance polka.”  
Tired Cloud lifted his head and looked at Reno with half closed, dull eyes. “Really funny… Truth…”  
Best he would have liked to slosh the redhead, but he didn’t do it. After all he couldn’t even stand alone.  
“Well… Do you like me more than you liked Aerith back then?”  
Cloud laughed a short, dry laugh. “Not at the moment…”  
“Oh…” Affected Reno looked aside. He knew Cloud didn’t mean it the way it sounded but still he felt bad. Ultimately Cloud’s current condition was his fault.  
“Truth or Dare?” The blonde asked to break the awkward silence and caused Reno to flinch.  
“Truth…”  
Cloud sighed. “Why can’t you pick Dare for once?”  
Slightly irritated Reno raised one eyebrow.  
“Never mind… well… I have no idea what to ask you…”  
“Something you have wanted to ask me forever and a day. Who knows, perhaps this is your last opportunity to do so.” Reno’s grin was forced and though it had been intended to be comic, he couldn’t even convince himself.  
“… don’t call for it…” Cloud murmured in response and then asked: “Why do you always do such imbecilities?”  
Reno’s pulse quickened and he got nervous. Cloud looked worse by the minute.  
“I don’t know… if I knew beforehand what the consequences of my actions were, I wouldn’t do a lot of them, most likely…”  
“Most likely…”  
“Are you… angry?”  
“No, I am seriously injured…” Cloud couldn’t help but laugh softly, which ended up with coughing while he spitted blood.  
Reno started to tremble. But before he could say something, Cloud spoke up.  
“Your turn.”  
“Truth or Dare?”  
“Dare.”  
“Dance samba.”  
“Reno, this is not funny, all you do is change the dance… Besides, even if I could, I couldn’t dance…”  
“What? Not even waltz?”  
“… I tried it once, but I got nauseous because of the constant spinning…”  
The redhead couldn’t help the amused grin that flashed across his face.  
“So, Truth?”  
“Since I have no choice…” Cloud sighed resignedly and tucked up his right leg so that he could rest his forehead on the knee.  
“Are Unicorns partial to Dildos?”  
“What?” Obviously puzzled Cloud looked up, his eyebrows raised. His eyes had regained some clearness.  
“Well… Do you think Unicorns are partial to dildos?”  
“How… did you hit on that?”  
The redhead smirked. “No idea, just by way of conversation… I mean, look at it. These spiraled horns are always with them, and they do look a bit like dildos, well… simply a bit, don’t they?”  
“… these are horns… they are pointy.”  
“So what?”  
“Reno, this hurts!” Dubiously the blonde looked at the other who couldn’t help but grin.  
Cloud was more awake now so the question had served its purpose.  
“Shall we continue? We rested enough, didn’t we?” Reno asked casually, thereby hiding his anxiety.  
“Okay…” Cloud tried to get up, using the wall behind him as support, but didn’t really succeed.  
“Wait, I’ll help you…” Reno dragged himself up and inhaled sharply when he moved his broken arm in a bad way. Cumbersomely he placed Cloud’s arm on his shoulder and pulled him up. The blonde still held his hip with the other hand.  
After having walked a few steps, Reno said: “Hey, it’s your turn…”  
Cloud’s eyes were closed. “Hm… Truth or… Dare…”  
“Dare…”  
“…”  
“Cloud?” Reno gulped.  
“… I… am thinking…”  
“… okay… I’ll wait…” He pulled Cloud a little further up and saw the blonde smile fleetingly, blood still in the corner of his mouth…  
They definitely should hurry…


End file.
